to the historiography of science and mathematics, to philology and conlanging, to the various philosophical and cultural views on and rituals surrounding death. I am an American, hailing from an area once likened to "Hell with the lid off." I currently reside a bit farther south than that, and shall be moving farther south still in hopes of continuing my education both to better reflect my present-day interests and to pave my path toward emigration.
My childhood was atypical and is far too complicated and contradictory to succinctly describe. To be brief, there were four separate family units which took part in raising me over the years. One was overly preoccupied with self-mythologizing and being markedly different from and better than those around them, often to the point of delusion. Another was a mostly-absent authoritarian whose brief appearances in my life were characterized by psychological and physical torture alike. The third put me into a role of responsibility more often than not and would strongly rebuke me when those under my care behaved in ways deemed inappropriate. The fourth, who I credit with putting the most effort toward properly raising me, was fixated upon their own image, obsessively upholding a façade of existence within the upper echelons of society. Each family placed value on my existence not inherently but as a result of what I could do for them, from acting as a caregiver to being a thing which they could utilize to assert their superiority over others. I've spent most of my adult years attempting to unlearn and cope with the various folkways which went unquestioned during my youth.
My school years were academically exhilarating but emotionally arduous. Between being the first "new kid," my various neuroses from the traumas of my toddler years, and the fact that I was clever enough to make up for where my natural intellect failed, I was ostracized night-immediately. Said exclusion only worsened over the years, often culminating in physical bullying, though despite being shunned and remaining virtually friendless, I was also strangely trusted by my peers. I founded my first real coterie in middle school; we bonded over our mutual "weird" interests like "Japanimation"
and metal music. My high school years saw my social circle expand significantly, though teenagers are inherently cruel and cliquish and I learned the hard way exactly what my worth was to many who claimed to be my friend. University is not a time I like to dwell on, as my mental and physical health suffered greatly during that period. I do not maintain relationships with any of my close childhood friends, if not because we've grown apart then because they liked the way I was and what I could do for them more than who I actually am. Or because they've passed away. That said, my current social circle is full of the most wonderful, considerate, and compassionate people I've ever met, and I love each and every one of them dearly.
My favorite color is burgundy, though I am a fan of deep jewel tones in general. My favorite animals are grey foxes and scorpions. I am a Scorpio, born upon the cusp of Sagittarius; I also have Scorpio stellium. My moon sign is Aquarius, and I firmly believe that my rising sign is boring and lame and wholly ruinous in regards to my vibes. I love cinnamon and the smell of smoke. My favorite element is either mercury or plasma depending on the context. I prefer salty to sweet, and enjoy spicy above all. My favorite foods used to be lo mein from the local take-out place and vegetarian pizza with coconut
and kosher marshmallow on top. I partake in non-comptetitive sporting activities such as rock climbing and archery. I enjoy puzzles in all their forms, particularly mathematical, word, and even the much-maligned sliding tile puzzles. I have several cats, as well as an inconvenient allergy to them.
I once made a very valiant attempt at becoming a goth DJ, a career which stemmed from my love of darkwave, deathrock, and general goth-approved music. I also have a soft spot for hair metal, nu metal, and grunge (in fact, I was known for dressing like Kurt Cobain in my early teens). I am learning to shamelessly love the popular music that I was not permitted to enjoy in my youth. When people ask me for music recommendations, my go-to bands are Buffo's Wake and The Leningrad Cowboys (but really only their 90s stuff); I enjoy Bill McClintock's song mash-ups as well. My favorite movies are Pi and Kafka, though I don't personally recommend the former. I can't say that I watch a lot of television, though I've been enjoying the new His Dark Materials series as well as rewatching old favorites such as Forever Knight and the various late-90s history channel documentaries about supposedly-supernatural sites. I read a lot, but most of it is either nonfiction and can technically be classified as textbooks (I'm currently enjoying From Alchemy to Quarks) or is fanfiction and full of people suffering horribly. I play Vampire: The Maquerade (obviously); my favorite clan is Cappadocian, or at least Hecata in the Cappadocian/Harbingers way. I'm a fan of pretty much any video game that involves vampires or the supernatural, with some of my favorite including the Vampire: The Maquerade games (obviously), Di no Shokutaku, and the Nancy Drew
point-and-click games (no vampires yet, but it does feature my vampire-adjacent boyfriend Henry Bolet).
Do I actually think I'm a vampire? No, but all of my friends are dead and I miss eating food without it destroying my body and I spend more time than I care to admit imagining myself in various fantastical escapist scenarios (my daemon is a grey fox, my partner Digimon is an X-antibody Wizarmon, my attractive and accomplished high school crush has held a torch for me this entire time)—what's one more? Plus, it's Geocities; everyone is vampires on Geocities. That's just science. Vampire science.
